Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
