so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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