At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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