I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
