I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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