It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
