If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize