i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
