ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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