that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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