I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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