New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
