MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
