under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
