Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
