Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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