She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think your dad took our porno
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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