i think i have herpe
just one?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize