The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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