he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize