Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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