Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You smell like stripper and shame
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
