i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
