I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize