we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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