Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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