So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Porn is love you can see.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
