He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
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