This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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