It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
