Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
