I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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