It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
