i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
so much tequila, so little girl.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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