If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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