I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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