Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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