We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize