My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he fucked my hip out of place.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
