I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Houston, we have a squirter
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
