There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
