Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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