and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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