Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
