just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i drank out of a bidet.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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