i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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