I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Text me some of your sweat
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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