What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
