You're a womanizer and a bitch.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize