All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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