To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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