She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
