he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize