ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
