hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
