Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
