So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize