That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
