did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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