Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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