he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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