no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
