The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
