my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
