please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
