She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
