just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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