I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
