Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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