my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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